Taking my breath away..

I love moments when God takes my breath away!! He did this morning during worship time and yep even when it involves the ugly cry face thingy that happens:) Seriously, though a song that I had'nt heard before was passionately sang and I just wept and let the words sink into my core. The worship leader shared a little of her own pain with having to grieve the absence of something in her life and how we all have had our circumstances in life that have caused us to grieve a loss. As I stood there, a movie played out in my head of all of the things I have grieved and continue to grieve over and then came the tears......I realize that grieving my losses in unhealthy ways has caused even more pain for me along with loneliness, isolation, depression, insecurities......well, it's a pretty long ugly list.
Not much more to say because this song is straight from the Word!!!!!!!! Song is "Made me Glad" by Hillsong and without a doubt has moved to the top of my ipod playlist!!!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Py4tgG-VteQ

I will bless the Lord forever
I will trust Him at all times
He has delivered me from all fear
He has set my feet upon a rock
I will not be moved
And I'll say of the Lord

You are my shield
My strength
My portion
Deliverer
My shelter
Strong tower
My very present help in time of need

Whom have I in heaven but You
There's none I desire besides You
You have made me glad
And I'll say of the Lord

You are my shield
My strength
My portion
Deliverer
My shelter
Strong tower
My very present help in time of need




And then God did it again,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Yes, I am referring to the Colts winning today's game and now they are Superbowl bound baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't help it, I get soooooooooooooooooooooo very homesick when I watch them play and see all the blue and white sweatshirts, faces painted blue and white, all the fans cheering them on and that absolutely gorgeous stadium on the tv. This should be where I start impressing you with my football talk and sounding like I know what I mean when I say interception, huddle, kickoff, punt, field goal, safety, onside kick....... but seriously, i talk about a football game like Madea tells a Bible story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! btw, please see I can do bad all by myself by Tyler Perry!!!!! It will make you, laugh, cry and laugh some more:)
Born and raised in Indianapolis was nothing exciting at all whatsoever! There is more than corn in Indiana and they have given downtown Indy circle a modern makeover the past few years and it's actually becoming a beautiful city. Does'nt matter though, cornfields on every side, horrific winters, tornadoes in spring, humidity as hot as u know where in the summer it will ALWAYS be my home and my heart will ALWAYS skip a beat when I see Manning and Colts on the big screen! GO COLTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sweet Dreams

Saying I'm sooooooo in love with everything about this bedroom is such an understatement... It is absolutely breathtaking. You may look at it and cringe, but this is sweet dreams to me.

Funny how...

Sept.16, 2008

Funny how things work out. Never thought when we moved out of our first home we purchased in 2002 would we be moving back in, this time with my little girl. It's only a 2br 1 bath (yes, I said 1 bath). very quaint little home. When we lived there 4 years ago, we were in the middle of some of the most intense invasive infertility treatment. Desperation, Fear, Loneliness and Hopelessness surrounded me in this house. There was this one night that I remember. My dr. had called said nothing took and I again felt let down and was left questioning God. I sat in the 2nd bedroom and just cried my eyes out thinking I'll never know what it's like to have a crib in this room. I'll never be able to fall asleep in the room RIGHT next door knowing that should my child have a bad dream, I can be there in a second at their side. The closet was empty and always would be was my fear. I could go on and on, but most of you know our story already. So,
long sob story short,, here we are 3 and a half years later with our beautiful daughter moving back in to our charming little home. but no crib and I'm okay with that right now. :)

Also, we decided there was quite a bit that needed to be made over, so I've been taking before and after pictures as things get done........

The greatest show on earth

Sept 13, 2008

CIRCUS DAY!!! It's my 1st time at the circus. Seriously, I know sad huh?
Omg, amazing. There was soo much going at the same time. Men twirling in ways they should'nt, elephants bowing, dogs leaping, motorcycle on a wire about 100 ft. up with a lady dangling below it, people bouncing around on these gigantic inner tube tire like things, omg, did I mention the munching of popcorn around me was INSANE!!!!!! :) Almost sent me to my dark place. We had a fun time though, Micah was amazed and I think picked up on some new acrobat tricks.. little scared bout that..

Happy Birthday USA

July 4, 2008

July 4,, seriously one of my favorite days. I forget often how frekin blessed I am to live in America and able to enjoy what it has to offer! We as we do every year went to Elk Grove Park with all the family to watch fireworks.. Danette made all the girls patriotic skirts this year and Micah paraded around in hers very proud!!!!! and thanks to my husband, we have pre-show entertainment. We usually get seats right at the gate, smack dab underneath the fireworks.... Omg this year, it's like they were going to burn us as they fell! It felt like we could almost touch them. They had the Lee Greenwood song playing, "Proud to be an American" during the fireworks and I became soooooo emotional. The tears were fallin and I thought my heart was going to explode with happiness!! Everybody was clapping, people were shouting, I could hear whistles.. I just have never been more proud to be an American than that night!
Thank you to all who have served our country in uniform, especially those in my life. Dad, Richie, Jeff and of course my husband-thank you for all your sacrifices! You are loved (yes, even you dad) :)


If tomorrow all the things were gone,
I’d worked for all my life.
And I had to start again,
with just my children and my wife.

I’d thank my lucky stars,
to be livin here today.
‘ Cause the flag still stands for freedom,
and they can’t take that away.

And I’m proud to be an American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
‘ Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.

From the lakes of Minnesota,
to the hills of Tennessee.
Across the plains of Texas,
From sea to shining sea.

From Detroit down to Houston,
and New York to L.A.
Well there's pride in every American heart,
and its time we stand and say.

That I’m proud to be an American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
‘ Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.

And I’m proud to be and American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
‘ Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.

His Grace is Enough

March 14, 2006
His grace is enough!!!!!! How Great is Our God.. These songs have never been more true in my life than they are today. God worked a miracle and Micah is back home in our arms. God-YOU ROCK!!!! How could anybody deny His power and love and grace and mercy? He's incredible and I'm in awe.
This is the happiest day of our life, talking of daddy and I. Micah-we thought we had lost you forever and our hearts were crushed. I pray that you never never have to experience the physical pain I felt last night as I sat in your room and just wept. I held your blanket close to my face all night and just sobbed and prayed. I physically ached to hold you. I love you with every breath….but it's amazing to think that God loves you even more and He is using you to touch soooooo many hearts.. You would'nt believe all the people across the United States that are praying for you Micah, Kendra your birthmom and your daddy and I. So many people spent the whole night on their face before God asking him for a miracle to bring you back home to daddy and I. You are a testimony of the Power of prayer and your daddy and I will never forget it. We dedicated you to God with your papa and grammy before we took you to Kendra on March 13th. We knew that you were in the hands of God which are much bigger than ours. As much as I hoped and trusted God that I would hold you again,, it's very surreal at this moment to have you back in your bassinet besides mommy and daddy's bed. I get to see you first thing in the morning and my heart is bursting with happiness. Your daddy and I love each other more than we ever have, Your dad is an incredible man of God and he has been a rock for me. We have drawn closer to each other in the past 24 hours and have prayed together more than we ever have. We committed to each other tonight to pray every night with you before bedtime and together when we go to bed. And to pray with the same passion that we have the past 24 hours. Micah, never underestimate the power of prayer. God is listening and your living proof that God is Almighty and is in control of all!!!!!
I can't type anymore, because I just want to lie next to you and feel you breathe and watch you sleep. I love you precious baby! We give you to God and trust Him and His will for your Life!!!!!!xoxoxoxo Sweet dreams

Such Love

March 13, 2006

My heart has been shattered into a million pieces. Micah, we may have had to place you back in the arms of your birthmom, but I am still your mommy in my heart and you are my baby girl! I miss you,, I can smell you and everytime I close my eyes I can see you and your smile that melts my heart. I want you in my arms Micah….. This is killing me and your daddy. I don't know why Kendra is doing this, but your daddy and I gave you to God and His hands are bigger than ours. It's hard to imagine, but he loves you more than we do. We are praying for a MIRACLE Micah, a miracle that God would change the situation. Not for us, but for His glory. So that people may see that in the midst of somebody's nightmare, God is working and HIS plan will come to pass. I pray with all my heart and every breath that I hold you again Micah. This hurts soo much I can't describe it, I feel like I'm dying a little bit each minute without you. Please know that if I never see you again, i have never experienced such love as this. xo

Re-do!!

So, somehow I locked myself out of my old blog account and apparently, the help center can't help me retrieve my login and password... Sooo strange, makes me feel crazy that I can't figure out my login and password.. I just know it's what I'm typing... Sooo anyway, I will re posting blogs from the past......

Dear blog, I love you then I hate you!

So, it's true.. I have a love/hate relationship with my blog. Why?????? Here are a few reasons.....

1. I think I'm really a bad writer.

2. I just spent a whole hour trying to get a very cute black and white damask background up and obviously it's not there. I can't figure out gadgets, widgets or any of the blog language. Oh, and I can't get my previously blogs all the same font color!!!! FOR THE LOVE!!!!!!!

3. I HATE being a copycat, so I'm trying to not duplicate any of my friend's blog material:)

4. What am I trying to say again in a blog anyway??????????????????

So, those are just a few reasons why i'm breaking out in hives right now as I type this. However, I'm going to push through and just express myself through my keys... I'm hoping this will be therapeutic,, I could use some free therapy:)